I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
