do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
