I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is wine microwaveable?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
