This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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