every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize