Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
