I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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