I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
not ubering you a puppy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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