my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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