All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
