It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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