you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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