I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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