hotel room ftw
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
