Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize