god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
