please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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