i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
