Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
