I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
