I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
even my farts smell like vagina
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize