dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The air was thick with penises
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
