direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
