next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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