even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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