Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
