part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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