I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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