Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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