I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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