just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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