wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
