There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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