Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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