Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you had me at cake vodka
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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