and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
