and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
