she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
