I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
