i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
