I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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