why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
