Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
