Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
