I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
