you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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