Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
