I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I could fuck to npr.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
