Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
