Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
