tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize