Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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