what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
