real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
