I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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