So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
