I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
