whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
