Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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