its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want nice things and good sex
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
